I Done Grew Into a Wise Young Fella
by MissesHermioneMalfoy
Summary: Clary is brutally raped by Sebastian in CoLS how will the rest of the story move on from this turning point? AU. Mature Content. Clonathan.


A/N: I guess this is an outtake from when Clary is nearly raped by Sebastian in CoLS. This contains graphic depictions of rape and probably eventually rape recovery. The parts in italics are directly from CoLS

* * *

 _His blood dripped onto her face. She held herself still, her body humming with the effort, as his hand slipped from her throat along her side, to her waist. His fingers slide inside her waistband of her jeans. His skin was hot, burning; she could feel that he wanted her._

" _You don't love me," she said. Her voice was thin; he was crushing the air from her lungs. She remembered what her mother had said, that every emotion Sebastian showed was a pretense. Her thoughts were clear as crystal; she silently thanked the battle euphoria for doing what it had to do and keeping her focused while Sebastian sickened her with his touch._

" _And you don't care that I'm your brother," he said. "I know how you felt about Jace, even when you thought he was your brother. You can't lie to me."_

" _Jace is better than you."_

" _No one's better than me." He grinned, all white teeth and blood. "'A garden enclosed is my sister,'" he said. "'A spring shut up , a fountain sealed.' But not anymore, right?Jace took care of that." He fumbled at the button on her jeans._

She could feel him hardening as he pressed her down into the floor and the thought sickened her. How could her _brother_ be this evil? Well if her father was anything to go by he could be very evil indeed. The fact that he was trying to rape her right now was all the proof positive she needed. Every ounce of Sebastian's weight was pinning her to the floor and she could barely breathe.

"No, actually he didn't." She snapped at him. Her and Jace had almost gotten past the point of no return but hadn't managed to actually do it.

Sebastian looked intrigued… "Oh he didn't did he? Well, don't worry little sis, we'll soon put that to rights." He'd figured out her jeans button and pulled on it with fierce strength. The jeans had been her favorite. He gripped the jeans by the seat and pulled down with savage strength. Clary heard the tearing before she felt her most sensitive place being exposed by her own brother. He fumbled for a minute with his own zipper and boxers she couldn't think, the battle euphoria was being replaced by a wall of terror making her unable to focus. She didn't know what to do but she felt a scream tear through her throat. Sebastian crushed his free hand to her mouth. "Now, now you'll be screaming in just a few seconds a man's get to get his boy ready."

"Fuck you!" She spit in his face. He switched his grip on her to hold her down by her throat. She gagged and coughed and her throat burned like hell. He wiped his face off on his t-shirt and blinked several times.

"I know you're going to enjoy this," with that he pushed past her cherry in one swift thrust. She could feel blood, warm blood, spilling out already. It burned and if he kept this tight a grip on her throat she wasn't going to have to worry about being raped, she would be dead.

Sebastian seemed to sense that he was going to kill Clary if he didn't let up so as he pushes into her for the second time he eased his grip to a looser hold. "You're so tight, damn it's better than I thought it would be." He kept his pace slow and she coughed and spluttered as he tried to get her breath back.

"Sebastian, no!" She rasped. It barely came out above a whisper her voice was so hoarse. He fucked into her harder and harder, he used his free hand to tease at the apex of her thighs, pressing his finger just _there_. Her body started to betray her. She knew she was getting wet, she could feel the feeling of pleasure coiling in her belly. She couldn't have ever hated herself more than in this exact moment.

"Fuck Clary!" Sebastian moaned into her ear. She hoped he was close, prayed that he was close as a matter of fact. She knew she wasn't supposed to pray Raziel but she did now, she prayed that he pulled out before he came and she wouldn't have to deal with him leaving his come all over her.

Such was not to be and he spilled into her tight core and pulled out lazily. This was it, she was broken. She could feel her spirit shatter into a thousand pieces. She cried and what upset her the most was that she wasn't on birth control, she'd have to take a pregnancy test in a few weeks to see if she was pregnant.

Fuck's sake could things get any worse? She laid there, completely demoralized and drained of energy. She hoped that Sebastian would just fuck off and leave her here to clean up.

Eventually he rolled off her. Sobs shook her super petite frame and she looked for the piece of glass she had previously. Sebastian had kicked it away from her.

* * *

Sebastian had ended up cleaning up the mess he'd made. Clary had laid there exposed, for over an hour while he tried to get her to go to the Seventh Sacred Site. After an hour had passed he realized he would just have to take her as she was. He changed her jeans and she remained catatonic until they arrived. It felt like her conscious mind had been suppressed and all she could see was Sebastian raping her over and over. She needed _Jace_. But Jace - the Jace that was linked with Sebastian was standing in front of them, looking pissed that Sebastian had been late but otherwise unperturbed.

The Infernal Cup was created and Amatis of all people drank from it. If Clary had been more aware she would have realized that it was his intention to make her drink from it as well.

"I'm thirsty Sebastian." Clary rasped. Her throat was still hoarse and if she'd had a mirror she would have seen there was a hand shaped bruise surrounding her neck.

Sebastian held up the Infernal cup in front of all the warriors that had just been turned by the cup and pressed the cup to Clary's lips. Clary, thinking it was water or juice drank greedily from the cup and spluttered again on the bitter tasting demon blood. But the damage was done. She felt the raspiness in her throat clear, the cuts on her fingers and hands knit together. Sebastian helped her up and her eyes gleamed black in the night.


End file.
